Category Archives: communication skills

Between the Listener and Speaker, how do you decide whose responsibility it is to hear the real message ?


Between the Listener and Speaker, how do you decide whose responsibility it is to hear the real message ?

Emerging thoughts for the upcoming year have entered into what will take place in the next 12 months. Amazingly the learning process never ends and is always throwing new wrinkles increasing thought awareness that throws endless possibilities towards success.

These thought reversals are to discover whose job and responsibility it is to gain facts and clarity within and about a conversation to changing me while adapting to my surroundings. Any time change must occur the change must start within and sometimes we try and force and outward change that meets with resistance. Is it the speaker’s responsibility or the listener’s responsibility to discover clarity?

The resistance occurs due to observation regarding that change that is lost in translation. Then there is the thought process that I/you am not the responsible party to change and it is not my problem. It is the other person’s problem and lack of ability to adapt and to flow where the wind blows.

Who is responsible to get what I am saying when I am the speaker? Who is responsible to understand the statements? Who is responsible for the clarity of my statements? Who is responsible to discover who is on board with the message?

Could this be the real reason why people fail to understand sales? Could this be the reason many people fail in sales? Could this be the reason why so many sales falls through the cracks only for someone else to gain the sale? If no one is in charge of deciding who is responsible for the clarity between the speaker and listener who do things get done? If it is the listener how do you the speaker know the listener has it and will move forward with you? It is time to find out who is listening.beware_md

What say you and how will you decide?

Practice Better Business


Are you Reasonable?

Are you Reasonable?

Behind the 8 ball

A consumer inquired of a trade’s person before hiring his services asking this question, are you reasonable. This insulted the trade’s person. Frequently those in the trades have a wild imagination and ponders that this consumer is scheming and maneuvering against them or only wants cheap. In this illustration this is the trade’s person’s reply: I’ve learned instead of trying to change them. To just not do business with those types of people. It usually does not end well.

Revolutionize your mindset! It doesn’t end well because you have branded and pigeon-holed the consumer and have set your expectation to anticipate difficulty. When you expect trouble your answers to questions, facial expressions and nonverbal language is off setting to the customer. It cannot be avoided you have set the tone. Any question that may sound out there, whacked, or attacking, you become defensive in your response.

Here the trade’s person has labeled them as “those people”. What do “Those People” look like? What are the habits of “those people”? That statement belongs in the category of” are you reasonable” as a question that is labeled as out there and meaningless. How can you label a person by 1 statement that holds no value and when you have no experience with this person?

Revolutionize your mindset!

Are you reasonable is an invitation asking you to tell them why they should hire and pay you what you want? This particular trade’s person also made this statement: quote” I just had a guy ask me if I was “reasonable”. I told him “I feel like I’m worth it and you get what you pay for” lol, never understand people that only care about price”. Please explain to me anywhere in this reply that would inform any person to use you? There is no reason to use you. I think or I feel I am worth it. I do not want you to think or feel you are worth I want to know that you are worth it. If you don’t know for sure how in the world will I know that you are worth it at the end of the day? It is time to get out of the land of I’ve always done it this way and I am not going to change for any person place or things.

Are you worth it? (Me) Tell me more Mr. or Mrs. Consumer? Have you had work in the past performed by other service providers? If so what was your experience? In a very whiney voice (from trade’s people) this sounds like a used car sales person. Who cares? I want to know why they are asking if I am worth it. Obviously they have had people in the past that were not worth it to them or people they have known. Throw “those” people to the competition. Someone must do their work why not you? Frequently this customer will become the person that gives your name out to everyone they know. And is your prime customer. You just need to answer their original question of tell me why I should use you.

Know this trade’s people, a customer will spend 6-7 thousand dollars over the life of the relationship with a service provider such as a plumber/HVAC professional. Learn how to hold a conversation with them before you think they should be thrown to the wayside. By the way, stop thinking and start knowing the facts.

Are you reasonable? (Me)Please tell me what is reasonable? Then I will listen to the customer until they are done talking. Then I can answer him or her if in fact it is a question. Are you reasonable is not and never has been a statement. It is a question. Treat it as a question and then answer it in a positive way. When you answer it positively you get positive reactions and responses. Answer it defensively or as if you were attacked and you will get a defensive response. I am not sure why work should be different then the way life is and how people interact.

Are you reasonable? How do you know that your price does not fit into their category of reasonable? You assume that you are too high and that places this customer out of your random thought of I only work for people who can afford me. If I heard this from a customer my thoughts are: that is exactly why you need me to finally make this a thing of the past for you. I am now your plumber and would you like to know why? Then I would list many items customers have told me why they have chosen me for this very job in the past.

I definitely would stay away from utilities are expensive, gas is expensive, vehicles are expensive, tools are expensive. Those are your problems stop passing them onto your customer as a problem. Too often we complain to the customer that the cost of doing business is tough. If it is that tough stop working for yourself and start working for someone else. Your cost of doing business is your fault not the fault of the customer.

Finally; change Are you reasonable to why you are reasonable. These are viable reasons why you are reasonable. My list would be: I started in plumbing in 1972 and have experience that will deliver you a permanent solution to any and all of your plumbing issues. Due to the experience no job is too large or small and will take very little time at all to complete. We will deliver on our promises to you and get to the cause of the issues that will allow you to get rid of the problem.

You will receive all information to make the right choice both for and against any product or service. This will give you the opportunity to make an informed decisions based on your budget, wants and lifestyle. By having this information you can choose any number of options that will enhance and make a difference in your experience with the product and service.

The customer service you will receive will give you a new experience to start expecting more from us and any other service provider that you call into your home. With information will come a new found ability to understand how your plumbing system works in your home and an understanding of why things happen and then how to prevent them from happening again in the future? By understanding these things you can prevent me from visiting you as often as other service providers have visited in the past. The information you receive from us is more information than any other service provider has given you in the past.

You have experienced our office staff and how personable they are with you and the ease of setting up a service call. There are ways to set up a service call in the future easier than you experienced. Being Tech savvy you can use our web site to schedule a service call or ask any question, you can sue our email, Facebook, Blog, or twitter account as well as old faithful the phone call. We also provide a 24/7 emergency service specifically set in mind for you and any service you may require after hours. Our focus is to have any service you require as easy as possible for you.

What you say Matters!

What you say Matters!

Mam I’ve told you before the flange is broken. The broken flange is why the toilet moves and is leaking on the floor. If it is leaking liquid it is also leaking sewer gases. Sewer gases will make people sick. Do you want these kids to get sick?

This plumber visited this place of business in the past and forewarned them of their issues and what is required to get the plumbing in working order. The place of business hired a pseudo plumber since the 1st visit. It appears he was a laid off plumber or a handyman and they did not fully understand the repair that was necessary and did not make the proper choice concerning what to do. It is impossible to expect a laid off plumber or handyman to know and understand plumbing. The laid off plumber is laid off for a reason and the handyman is not educated enough in plumbing to understand plumbing codes or have the experience to know why things work the way they do and what they should do to make repairs. They may know how to install a faucet or other fixtures however rarely will they know why a product should be used or not used.

I would like to break down the plumber’s statement to the customer in simple terminology concerning what is known and understood. The customer / business must respect the knowledge of the plumber due to calling the plumber back to their business when the problem persisted. However the business did not hire the plumber to do the work and this means a lack of trust and respect to complete the job. Why: they chose a nonprofessional that did things differently than the plumbers recommendations. Most people in the industry would assume that money was the driver and prevented the right person from completing the work. WRONG!!!!! Stop thinking this way. Start driving the want to use you with your customers and you will be amazed by the results.

Mam I’ve told you before the flange is broken scolding the customer for not listening. You have just treated this person as a child. Give him or her a dunce cap and sit them in the corner of the room until they realize their mistake and promise not to do this again. The broken flange is the reason it is leaking, reminding the customer that they made a horrible choice and that they cannot remember , understand, or make the right decision while the problem stillremains. Do you want these kids to get sick? Since you obviously did not want to listen to me you must surely not care about those you watch over. This is the discussion that took place after the 3 rd. visit. 1st visit by the plumber, and visit by the unqualified person performing the work and 3rd visit once again the plumber returning to scold the business person.

What do you think happened on the 1st visit that was different from the 3rd visit? The same plumber visited the 1st time and 3rd time. The same type communication most likely took place. History repeats itself unless something is done to prevent the history from repeating itself. I have an office staff that has been doing the same thing since 1990 and refuses to change old ways without creating a battle or drama to prevent change. It is expected and received. The change that occurs is planned with the reaction in mind. Plumbers in the field must understand predictable behavior by their customer and plan accordingly. The history of this business would suggest that the plumber should have taken a different route. Looking back in history 1 plumber has been highly successful at having this business move forward. But I’ve always done it this way won out over learning why the effective and productive plumber had success in the past.

What could have been done differently that may have changed the direction of this particular service call? Some people in the industry would automatically assume that the message here is to intentionally not inform the customer of potential health risks. You would be extremely and utterly wrong in your thought process.

Discover a way to facilitate change with your communication and turn it into a conversation that includes the customer in the breakthrough of the facts / information. Mrs. Client, the water closet that is lose and moving has a broken flange. Do you know what purpose the flange has and why it is important? Let the client answer this and have them repeat to you why it is important. This then gives you the opportunity to give information concerning sewer gases and give the information according to what the customer knows. It is much easier to influence a decision when you know what the customer understands. Mrs. Client the sewer gases are called methane gas and are toxic. Where do you think this methane is released? The liquid that is leaking on the floor is from the water closet being flushed with fecal material and urine that is oozing on top of the floor. Ask how much she knows about fecal bacteria. Ask about the installation process of the flange. Next is to ask the customer to explain the importance of you installing the flange, taking care of the leaking methane gas and liquid. Mrs. Client would you tell me why you call us when you experience plumbing issues? This will remind the client why she decided to call you.

Hi, I am happy that you have tried to get this taken care of and I hope that you understand the importance of using me for this job. We have the experience to take care of this and finally get rid of the problem for good. I have done this hundreds if not more times and I have the tools to make this a thing of the past. We can take care of the potential health risks in order that you do not have to assume those extra risks with your business. Sound good to you? What should we do Mrs. Client? Would you like to know why more people use me for this exact type of job?
Another approach

Mrs. Client, I appreciate that you have tried to make this issue go way. May I ask a question? What did you like best about our visit the last time? Whatever the client states arte exact reasons why you should finally make this a thing of the past. Repeat those reasons to her, ask if any other person as ever given as much information to make a decision in the past? When the answer is no, ask if you should get started.

Hi, can you tell me how long this has been going on? What have you done in the past? Why have you chosen the choice in the past? Now you can answer any direct questions and concerns that have her calling for resistance or reluctance towards your solution or proposal including using a nonqualified person completing the actual work. Frequently the service provider neglects the past as a reason for making the choice today. Personally I have found more clients want something different and their expectations are derived from past experiences.

When you decide to stop barking orders to your customers they become friends and will decide to move forward based on your information and direction. Start setting your customer expectations and give the customer a reason to meet those expectations.

Don't fear change,change fear

Ethics and Integrity = Honesty


The next few blogs will concentrate on ethics in any industry and sales efforts. There are too many definitions to what is ethical when considering integrity. It seems people have a difference of interpretation of ethics, integrity, and honesty which is determined by each individual’s practices and morals.

What is right and divine is not wavering and will not have many definitions. You do not have to use my morality to determine what is ethical and of high integrity. You should never have less then high integrity and if you do then it is a questionable integrity and you know not to use that practice.

I could not believe what I read in LinkedIn group concerning sales advice from 2 males From the UK that seem to take over conversations with their blatant misrepresentation of sales. In this particular discussion they discussed selling products to customers that have no use for the product and believe that it is a best practice. They claim they are sales people and if they can talk someone into purchasing the product that is their problem and not the sales person’s issue. This is a true example of a con artist.

There is an old saying that claims a sales person should be able to sell ice to an Eskimo. The argument or debate is even though there is ice all over the place you should have the skill to sell ice to that Eskimo. The better question with that question is should we sell ice to an Eskimo. A much better practice is to discover why they need ice and then supply the ice to their reason. This old stupid question was asked in a forum discussion and the immediate answer was well yes. This yes came with no exceptions or caveats.

In the next blog I will place these 2 individuals’ words in the blog as quotes for all to read and witness horrible selling practices. These practices should not be tolerated in any industry and those that do practice this should be removed from that industry and any referrals replaced with do to you as you would do to another. Taking advantage of any person unfairly has never been right or a good business practice.

Always have the customer’s best interest in your best practices. When this is your goal you will never take unfair advantage of people/companies. There are some people who will believe what you say and when they are misled by your words they still believe you. Stop being a deceiver and start to make a difference in a positive way with growth for everyone in involved.

What is Selling with Integrity and Ethics?

Behind the 8 ball

What is Selling with Integrity and Ethics?

Recently I severed ties with a person that I lost all faith in selling with integrity and ethics. I stopped training this person due to his unwillingness to part ways with questionable tactics that did not give customer the ability to have all the information in order to make a good decision. Once he learned that someone was interested in a product he pounced on that want without considering the future or immediate future and how it will affect the customer.

I tried and tried to reach this person however his greed and thought process was a little off center. His idea of success was the amount of money brought into a company and in his wallet. His ides of success = success equals a justification to the means and end. When this fellow and I parted ways he had 4 different stories to 4 different people and that is a huge indicator to what kind of person this guy is at this time. He does have the potential to change when and if he wants to change. At this point in time money is his driver and how he gets it does not matter.

Selling with ethics must include giving the customer information that allows the customer to make a wise decision and to make the correct choice. Omitting information in order to manipulate the customer into a purchase has never been proper. It is hiding the truth and is deceiving the customer. This is never a good thing or something that is taught. This is an evil man’s way to try and make his way through life by taking advantage of people who are less informed. Working this way with 1 product will make it easier to do this with many products and is the road to destroying business relationships. This customer is not the type customer to call and place a concern with you they are the customer that will not call you in the future. This means you will not know or understand why this customer has stopped calling you. Once this customer realizes that he or she was taken advantage of he or she will not want others to know. However with this customer there is no problem letting potential customers know that you are a crook even though the dishonest individual is gone, gone, gone.

Omitting information is pure and simple dishonest. This shows a lack of integrity and an inability to sell with meaning and conviction by doping what is right. Selling with the intent to omit information is an insecure person’s way of becoming secure by taking advantage of a weaker person. The person is weaker due to lacking the proper knowledge and information to make a good choice. You make a person weak in order to appear strong and correct.

To sell equipment that will affect people’s salt levels when you know the customer has problems (High Blood Pressure) with salt is not only dangerous it is incredibly dishonest. Not informing the customer of these problems and providing a better source is irresponsible and unethical. Selling a tank Less water heater that only provides a 40 degree temperature rise and a top end of 105 degrees at 3 gallons a minute is unethical and lacks integrity when there are 2 full bathrooms ,kitchen, laundry that must be maintained by this tank less heater. Improper sizing of the tank less in order to sell the tank less heater is way out of line and you are a thief. Having 2 or more fixtures run at the same time will not supply the proper demands of hot water the customer needs and somehow this is ok to do?

This is not selling people this is plain and simple stealing from the customer. Give the customer what they want attitude is not relevant in this instant. To do something you know will not work is not honest. Why would you do this? What could possibly be important enough to by-pass your integrity and beliefs? What is worth your soul that you do not care how you treat another individual? Are you so insecure that you would rather have accolades for doing wrong than doing what is right?

I have seen people teach people to clear a drain using a small cable and head. This is to get the drain running then run a camera to video inspect a drain line and shake their heads while rubbing their chin making statements such as this: I have never seen such a bad drain or this is in the worst condition I have ever seen good thing we are here today. This is supposed to add fear specifically fear of loss to acquire an action by the customer to move forward. The customer will say something similar to this: can you clear this line? I just did and see how ti is, remember they used a small cable and machine that is not able to clear the line. This unethical tactic is used to sell building sewers and should not be tolerated in our industry.

Any sales trainer that teaches this type behavior should be thrown out of the any industry where this method is taught am surprised at highly acclaimed sales trainers that are given high five’s for this kind of behavior from technicians in the construction service trades. I remember beign in a class with some Canadian drain cleaners where this behavior not only was applauded it was suggested as a viable means to an end and would allow you to become a valued member of the million dollar sales club. This is not a viable way to sell. It is not acceptable and gives our industry a horrible name and reputation to beat back.1 person that sells this way reflects on the 30 that sell with ethics and integrity. That 1 person is looked at more intently than the honest person. Watch the news reports the bad and ugly receives recognition Good deeds receive a minute at the ned of the program.

Decide to start today and sell with integrity and ethics. Allow honesty to rule what and how you operate a as a company. Force your employees to follow ethical boundaries or get rid of them. There are unethical companies and it is difficult to do anything about these companies. It is even more difficult to find and hire ethical people for your company. Stay the course and hire the right person and forget bodies. My last 3 resumes from construction service trades mechanics who are working for other companies in our area consist of: 1 a convicted rapist 2. A man convicted of abusing women (2 convictions since 2000) 3. A serv ice provider that is convicted and refused to pay child support. 3 people are currently working for local service providers in customers’ homes. Do you suppose if the customer knew this they would want that person in their home? What does that tell you about the character of some companies? Do you think integrity or ethics may vary with a company that hires improperly? Do you suppose this should be a question to ask before you allow a company into your home?

Today is the start of a brand new day where you decide to do something different. This difference is to pass all information available that will give the customer the ability to make the best choice. Let the customer know the pros and cons and then make the decision that best fits their budget and knowledge. When a customer still makes the wrong choice you then have a decision to make. The decision to make is not that difficult, you either do the job with acknowledgement to your concerns or you walk from the job and allow someone else’s reputation to take the hit in time. How important is your reputation.

Honesty, integrity, and ethics are not questionable. They are black and white. If you believe there is a line and this line can be crossed you have an ethics and integrity problem. Change your thoughts, replace you thoughts, replace the source you are receiving your information and soon your actions and words will start to match one another.

Good Intentions are not always good.

Good intentions

It never ceases to amaze me the main issue with sales in the construction industry it is affected by a lack of communication. The service technician has this awesome feeling that they are communicating effectively when in fact they are speaking a totally different language than the customer is speaking.

I do believe they are in America speaking English however the version is way different and is several meanings dissimilar than expected. The sales service technician has this belief that they are on the same page and just cannot understand why the customer is having a difficult time understanding.

As an example; in our area we must pull permits for water heater installs. This includes new or replacement gas or electric water heaters. With the install it is required that an electrical upgrade is necessary and a licensed electrician is required to do the work. A sub- contractor form is required and it is extra and above the cost of the plumbing permit and install.

Customers may hear they need an electrical upgrade. This does not mean they understand what that means and is extra which means it is not included with the plumbing install or costs. The plumbing service technician (Plumber) mentions it as a matter of fact due to it not being their concern or included in their work scope. However it is a huge concern as it impacts the cost and sale of the water heater plus your reputation.

After the customer and you have come to agreement the main concern is how we get this started. The customer must sign on the dotted line and your plumbing total is on the bottom of the paperwork. The customer somehow has the belief that is the total amount. Again this does not include the cost of the electrical upgrade.

Without clear and concise communication the customer will always and I do imply always think you are adding to the invoice or paperwork. They believe that you are misleading them, the customer. They believe that you are cheating them and forcing them to do things that are not necessary. Why, because they were not crystal clear with your communication that left ambiguity and doubt with the work scope and bottom line.

This is not done on purpose however there is a subliminal message why this happens. The subliminal message is; the service technician (Plumber) is afraid the extra money may impede the sale and prevent it from moving along. Hence the need and urgency to install the heater and then deal with repercussions that is misunderstood. In most cases this is not done on purpose. The service technician (Plumber) really believes the customer understands the extra work scope that is above and beyond the plumbing work.

It is essential that the plumber or any construction Industry sales service technician communicate properly all costs associated with their work. It should appear on the paperwork as work that is not included on their quote or paperwork. In the case of the electrical upgrade on a water heater should appear like this on the paperwork; All electrical upgrade work to be completed by a licensed electrician and investment to (name of the owner). This quote includes the plumbing work only. No ambiguity in that statement.

Many service technicians in HVAC, electrical, plumbing, painting, windows, flooring, or any other construction service industry business have great difficulty deciphering the affects of extras that can or will influence customer decisions. Sometimes the service technicians experience level affects the knowledge and ability to look 3 dimensional and locate all the different stages of the install and sale. Once again it is not done on purpose and it is an honest mistake unless it begins to become habitual.

Every day you get 86,400 seconds a day. You cannot carry these seconds from one day to the next. You cannot save any of this time nor can you add it to today. You can decide to be a difference maker and I like to call that a moment maker or you can wait for moments to happen. Remember you have 86,400 seconds in day. It is time to become a moment maker and make a difference in your customer’s life.

Your words and actions determine your character that will influence other people’s actions and reactions. You must distinguish right from wrong, how to find the right decision every time and increase the customer’s confidence that you will do what is right for him or her.

The above is called wisdom. Wisdom will make hours of your day more profitable and the years of your life more fruitful. Wisdom is its own reward, and if you scorn her, you hurt yourself. When you do what is right and just your customer will benefit from your wisdom, knowledge, and have trust in your ability to influence decisions. Communicate effective with words that influence and call the customer to action.

Practice Better Business

Surrender your Past for a New Present

Don't give up

Surrender your Past for a New Present

As some of you by now understand during the past few months our lives have been life changing. At times it has been exhausting, challenging, and tedious stretches that could become a distraction towards normal life and at other times exceedingly emotional. To date we have been able to place a handle on the change with great effort. I am extremely happy and grateful that we have not had to do this on our own.

The supporting cast we have is immense. They have helped in ways that we cannot express. With all of the close support it is extremely important to have strangers in our lives that have become part of the supporting system. I know from experience that we would have never been able to diagnose an issue without a stranger among the supporting cast. People that are close to a situation sometimes have a difficult time separating what is real from what looks like it is real. Once it became a reality for us and me it became easier to contain and defeat.

There are a lot of terrific places such as Center for Building Hope located in Lakewood Ranch, Florida. This is an all-volunteer facility that is specifically for cancer patients and victims. They give aid to care givers to help them on this journey. The volunteers are special people that have generous and caring ways that spread mercy to every individual that walks through their doors. The Center for Building Hope can only do so much and they do so very much. Sometimes more is necessary.

I went in search of Christian Faith based support system in Sarasota, Florida. My faith is what has propelled me to where I am now. I could not locate a Christian Faith Based source via the local community or an on line presence. Next I started to contact local churches to discover what they were doing or could do. Many churches do not have the facilities to offer this kind of support. Still many others do not have the experience and ability to work or communicate with people that have or are living in a situation where they may be terminal or having problems that affects every day living. There are so little resources for these churches to educate themselves or discover just how to speak to people that are sick, in a huge depression, or a disease that they will always carry for the rest of their lives, which could possibly end up being the death of that individual.

I cannot express in words how important our faith has been for and to us. Without our faith each of us individually would not be as strong collectively. We were able to gain strength by asking for help from Jesus. We were able to gain guidance by asking for it and calmness quickly overcame us in times of deep questions and during the emotional out bursts. It is impossible to understand how comforting the word of God is until your faith is tested and grows stronger.

I have learned so much over the past few months and am grateful for the opportunity to have learned what I have in such a short time. In the past I allowed others to convince me that my faith should be hidden from others so they would not be offended. What a huge mistake. When you allow business and greed to determine your faith there are more issues than faith being placed in a closet? I understand that our actions and words should align with one another and that should show people our faith. That is not enough; this does not mean you must preach to another person about your faith. Your faith is not a wall to hide behind. When people have a problem with your faith it is not you that has the problem it is them and they must learn to deal with their problem. You can help, however it is not your job to hide your faith so you do not offend him or her. I found I need my faith and it did not abandon me when I needed it the most.
John 4.14 But the water I give them, he said, “becomes a perpetual spring within them, watering them forever with eternal life”.

I have a passion to organize a support system for people in need. At times I understood I wanted to speak to someone and just talk, other times I just needed a hug, and still at times I just needed someone to listen. I also understand we are affected by our past with what we have seen, what we have heard and what we have done. With this knowledge we can help you discover spiritual joy and healing. What I did receive from quite few of my friends were scriptures that were sources of inspiration that I could relate to in those scriptures. With the grace of God guiding us we will have success and inspiration.

1 Corinthians 3.22-23: They lifted me up and placed me on top versus on the side of the road. He has given you all of the present and all of the future. All are yours, and you belong to Christ, and Christ is God’s.

Something that is of great importance to me, this is Christian Faith Based and it is not my problem if you are opposed to religion or you are not a Christian. Opposing Christian beliefs and core values is your issue. You are welcomed to attend and participate in a positive manner. However if you would like to have spiritual support this is where you will have the opportunity to discuss Christian events that are relevant and important to your spiritual wellbeing. Let us get involved. It is essential to get involved and help others who have discovered themselves in the same kind of situation I found myself involved in the past to modify the future.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are no longer in control, your life has changed drastically and you find yourself not adapting to the change and you need to talk. Please do not hesitate to reach out and connect with me. I want to share my Christian Faith and if I cannot guide you there are 2 ministers that are graciously willing to help. Together we can ask God to help and if we listen we will know where to go. When you need to speak you can contact me through my web page email, phone, or Skype with me. I would love to have the ability to start a local community support group. We have a place to start. Soon we will have a Facebook page.

Please feel free to share this with your blog, Facebook page, LinkedIn account or any other account to reach as many people as we can reach. Thank you so very much for reaching out and supporting those in need.

Taking ownership


There are many professionals in the sales industry that have systems, guidelines, methodologies that they follow every day. Still others fly by the seat of their pants and get by while others are just lucky with what and how they do what they do. Some think they can control their destinies when they cannot control their environment. No one can control when snow flies, when it rains, when it is smoldering hot, emergencies, health, family, friends.

Almost all people have core values or beliefs that they live by whether it is spiritually or emotionally guided. I find disturbing is the majority of sales people run from their spiritual values or religious beliefs that guide and lead their lives. They run from these core religious values due to the concept of not offending another person. The guise is to have a concern with why take a chance of upsetting the other person due to your spiritual beliefs being different from your customer. Some believe that other people’s faith is so weak that they will lose interest in your offer when they discover your faith is different than theirs. Some have this wacky belief when others discover your beliefs that you will be chastised for silly beliefs that he or she does not believe the same as you.

Surprisingly I used to belong to that group that ran from my core values and beliefs’ would not allow another person into that personal relationship. Hopefully people could see by my actions that I am a good guy with honest ethical intentions. When you are running from your beliefs how bright will your actions shine? The joy of the Lord is your strength, Nehemiah 8-10. When you run from your core beliefs and values what other area will you compromise your value and beliefs in order to find false success? Why fear your core beliefs and values and how they will or could lose a sale for you? How strong are these values and beliefs if you must run and fear them when dealing with other people? There is a difference between hammering a person with your core beliefs and values and or practicing them on a daily basis.

I decided to take a long hard look at a sales system that I designed for sales in the construction trades and was extremely pleased and surprised to discover that it is spiritually based with religious values. The system is about serving the customer and living the Golden Rule. It is filled with goals, commitment, listening and hearing the real intent, and communicating in a way that people understand. It drives home the idea that we must ask essential questions that arrive at ethical solutions without breaking down some stuff to the ridiculous. It discovers real solutions to problems the customer is facing and they know there are issues to remove.

It drives home the ability to build relationships that are emotionally and fact based with your customers and yourself. It is always about doing what is in their best interest and increasing your ability to become a better person at the same time. It is being accountable to yourself, company, and most importantly to the customer by allowing your actions and words show who you are and what you stand for by sharing your beliefs and or gifts.

This training is learning something different, discovering a new source of information and replace old thoughts with new ideas that bring positive results that manufacture explosive joyfulness. It is discovering positive reasons for your customer to enjoy ownership versus negative reasons if and when they choose to keep the status quo. It removes fear of loss and replaces that with a feel good reason that they must have and a sense of pride with ownership. It asks more of you in order to get the most out of it than any other training. It is about developing a new attitude that changes your altitude and the way you presently view people in general. It asks for you to see things from a different perspective that increases your ability to help a far greater number of people. When we look at things from the same perspective we can only help those that have the same point of view or look at the things the same as we do. However we know very few people look at or interpret the same value points as the next person.

The time is now to stop fearing your faith and start embracing your faith. When your faith is so weak that it fears other opinions or thoughts there is more than a faith issue. There is a need to rediscover a personal relationship and core beliefs that take a leap of faith. Where ever you go there you are. There is a reason and purpose you are there.

Month 2 in Chemo and what to expect

Month 2 in Chemo and what to expect

Expectations have started to settle in and new routines have been discovered. The amazing thing is we discovered that we do not have to travel this road alone. We have an amazing family, friends, and strength in God. We have also discovered a larger than life support system with all those people across the country and overseas through the power of the internet. This has made this new transition so much easier for me and Suzy.

Strength is starting to come back from 2 surgeries and now we can start to focus mainly on the chemo treatment and getting better. We would love to thank all of those that have leant their prayers and support to us that have helped in the recovery process. During the chemo weeks my strength is worn. However it seems as soon as the treatment is over my strength starts to come back and by 2 days later I feel like I can take on the world.
Don't fear change,change fear

What I am digging a lot is the deep dark depression that once seemed like it had the power to take over my life has subsided am very lucky to have some terrific people on the sidelines that have become players in the game pointed me in the right direction. They reminded me that I must change my thoughts, find a new source for my thoughts, and I must replace those thoughts. I must not be afraid to ask God for strength and to give myself to him to change and guide. When these things are followed the deep dark places are no longer feared. This was the largest obstacle that I have faced to date and the scariest place I have ever been to in my life. The reason that it has been so is it is a road that is traveled alone and a road that does not need to be traveled alone.

Communication between doctors and ourselves has increased and it is a wonderful thing that we are on the same page. We are dealing with highly intelligent people and they answer questions that are asked. However the questions asked are by people like me that have a little trouble with the English language that leaves ambiguity with the intent of the question. Discover the right questions and you will discover the right answers. If you have concerns over confirmation of any answer seek clarity and ask what does that mean. I guarantee if you do not ask for clarity you will start thinking the wrong way as confusion sneaks into your life. This confusion brings doubt and doubt brings negative thoughts that stop progress.

What I am discovering is this disease that we are fighting isn’t the problem. What is being described here can form in life by itself without any disease other than the disease of any negative thoughts that provide a stumbling block on your life moving forward. For me it was brought out into the light by this disease we are fighting. Again I am extremely lucky to have a great wife by my side, my children, and grandchild that are all in with me and forcing me to do the right thing. Friends that we never knew are there have marched into our lives and given renewed strength. I hope and pray that they know they have touched us and me in ways that are enormous.

I have made many good solid friendships in The Plumbing Zone and LinkedIn and through this blog that have changed my life and my thought process for the better leading too tolerance and acceptance. Another fantastic source of healing and power is The Shore Church and the wonderful people that share their life with others. There are many wonderful caring people at The Shore that give quickly to you without reservation or expectation. Another thing I am discovering is the impact each and every individual can have on other people without ever understanding or knowing that this impact has been made.

Chronic Illness and the Weight of Depression

People are faced with chronic diseases all over the world. I am not sure how quickly in most cases another disease creeps in and start to take over their reality. This new disease is aided and perpetuated by negative people that have no clue of right or wrong. Do not get me wrong these negative people are not the cause and really have very little to do with the lingering effects.

This little disease is called depression. The depression has a way to take your focus from your reality and create a sub culture that induces an alternate reality caused by fear. I wish I could help you with clinical terminology however I cannot. I can only give insight to what this has caused me to feel an emotional burden that was not reality but in mind created an alternate reality of missing and losing out.

I never have had a why me attitude. Things happen and you deal with it and overcome. The depression in my estimation is a fear of loss. In this case I have a great wife, 3 wonderful children, and a fantastic granddaughter. My imagination raced into the future to what I believed I will miss. Nothing in the prognosis has pointed to anything I may miss in the future. There are no guarantees that I will be here tomorrow or you for that matter. My attitude and fight is on winning this battle however the battle of depression had me forgetting that I have a different battle that will be won.

In the past week with help from numerous people including my wife Suzy we discovered together that the depression was trying to take over. I am truly inspired by a new religious wakening and believing that everything that has transpired has done so according to a grand plan. At this point I am not sure what that grand plan is. It could be to write this blog for others, to explain how a miracle caught the disease, or if I am to do something else with our lives. Once the secondary disease is /was realized now we can effectively take the disease depression and place it in the trash can where it belongs. This week I can say we have taken the first step to real recovery and peace.

Surrounding yourself with positive people that will help you grow is the first thing to build. I am very lucky that we have some of the best friends on the planet. I owe my gratitude and would like to give a shout out to those who have been an inspiration to me. My immediate family is awesome. My sisters and brothers have become a beacon to me even though we have many miles between us and have had hot and cold relationships. Family is family and when called upon and have stepped up to the plate. We have found spiritual guidance through The Shore Church and TJ among many other members. Bill the Plumber and especially Bill for his support. I have gained immense inspiration from an unlikely character. Without her we would never have caught the disease as early was we did. Her name is Km Bociek with Acupuncture Physicians Group. She has a machine called an acugraph. This measures your energy levels. I had several visits with low energy with my colon area. Her scans convinced me to set an appointment for a full physical that discovered problems. My whole purpose to visit Kim was my wife and how Suzy felt after treatments. Call it what you want however I am going to maintain that it was a miracle from God that he worked through Kim. I am not sure if Kim is religious or not, we have never discussed religion with exception to this past week where I told her she was an instrument.

Recently I spoke with a guy that immediately started to tell me about 2 people he has known that have passed away in less than a month and another who was told to celebrate Christmas early. In the past I would have called this person an insensitive idiot and some other choice names. With what we have learned I just shook my head and stated that I was sorry to hear that. All I can do is offer my support to him that he learns to become a better person with a much better understanding dealing with people should separate myself from this person however he needs more help than I do spiritually. Sometimes you do need to allow those negative people into your space to get them the help that they need. If refused then you must set them free and get them away from your freedom.

I am relatively sure that we all need help to get away from depression. Never be afraid to gain and receive the help that you deserve. Depression can create a separate reality if it is allowed to fester and grow. Choose the right people to listen to and have in your life. Celebrate the people that inspire you.

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