We can make our plans,but the final outcome is in God’s hands

First Look at the “C” Word

I hope I have your indulgence as my wife Sue and I would like to take this blog in a different direction. We would like to use the blog to document our family experience with an illness that has a stigma of an ending. Just like sales, life is about being prepared. This preparation covers a lot of ground. It covers the stuff customer’s will throw at you, the things work throws at you, work obstacles, family obstacles. In quite a few circumstances there are obstacles that present themselves where it is difficult to discover what it is you should do. We would like to include our daughters Allison, Ashley, and our son James along with Sue and myself.

Sue and I have been prepared a long time for positive obstacles. What I call positive obstacles or delays are the normal everyday living that gets in the way and slows progress down. Together nothing has ever been able to stop or slow us down from reaching where we wanted to go.

Now for the first time we are facing a different beast and will need more help? We recently discovered the obstacle is cancer. At this point in time all that is known is it has spread. Life is spinning out of control with many things racing around in the back of my mind. In reality I need to control what thoughts are racing and Sue is trying to keep me grounded.

A way for us to become more prepared is to ask for an army of prayers. Prayers that will keep us on course, prayers to keep us a family and, prayers that will make us better people. Please keep us and every person you know on a prayer list that will give them strength and a purpose to strive forward and make a difference. I have learned to be thankful for every day and give thanks for the day.

A core belief I have always had with sales is you must always be in control. I am not so sure we are always in control. We may believe we are in control however I believe it is more of being in the right place at the right time with the right products and services. It was really difficult to understand and then accept that I am not in control. I had to admit to myself and God that I am not in control and I pass control over to God.

This part of the blog may or may not stay on message. We will discuss emotions, fears, and reality. Some of it may rain in the tears others will have you shaking your head with right on. Hopefully a new perspective is raised and accepted.

The very first thing that went through my mind was 1980. Speaking on the phone with Sue for the first time and hearing loud clicks after a few minutes and the phone hanging up. I redialed and we spoke for a very long time. I remember our first date as if it was yesterday; we spent the early evening with Sue’s friends at a bonfire at a friend’s home. It was ok and not as boring as I have let on over the years. After that we went to a bar where I introduced Suzy to my friends. I knew I wanted to marry this woman.

To this day there is a debate about our 2nd date. I must concede that it was a party that she invited me to attend and it was a second date. This is when I told my mother that I was going to marry Sue. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met. She has never ceased to amaze me with her resolve and ability to make things happen and always in a positive way. She has always been my rock, guiding source, friend, lover and advisor. Suzy is my one and everything and this has prepared me to take on any obstacle head on without looking back. This is no exception. There is no other person I would want to go through this with than Sue. We have been through so many things together that have made us stronger and better people. What I feel for her I cannot express through words. When I look into her eyes she knows exactly how my world spins out of control for her.

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  1. Since I am new to this whole “blogging” business I will try respond here. This is just our first battle in the war to fight this cancer. After many trips to doctors, surgery, consults, more surgery, more consults I feel that we are clearing the way for a full recovery. I feel confident with the path we have chosen, and am looking forward to the chemo port being installed. I can handle the home front. Menu planning has taken on a new meaning. I can fill that belly with all the antioxidants that it can handle. What we do need is prayer for courage, strength, and guidance. Just take a moment and ask for healing hands to be placed upon Rich. We are in this together, as a family, as my partner, husband and teacher.

  2. Rich and Sue—first–that was a beautiful blog–I’m amazed Rich at the writer you are–something new I’ve learned about you. Have to say it sure brought tears to my eyes. My first thought at hearing you were diagnosed with the big “C” was pity for you but then I realize, that just isn’t who you and Sue are–compassion, care, love, prayer–that’s who you 2 are. You have many friends, including me, who love you both and will be here for you in whatever you need–the power of prayer is amazing! I’m sure you’ll face down days, many tears, but then knowing your family, you’ll pick right back up again to face whatever God hands you.

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